


distraction

by waitfor_it



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Psychosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 17:06:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15562443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitfor_it/pseuds/waitfor_it
Summary: Aaron has been known to skip his medicine.





	distraction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [protaganope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/protaganope/gifts).



> I wrote this for my qpp @protaganope!
> 
> everyone look at me 1) they're actually married and 2) aaron deserves all the love in the world and you can't convince me otherwise

Aaron’s hands shook, itching, aching for a feeling other than the emptiness he was met with. Alexander slept soundly next to him, seemingly peaceful. The tranquility of the world around him filled him with a feeling he couldn't name. To Aaron, it was as if the stillness of the room was artificial, thrown haphazardly into place, and if he were to move in a way not permitted, the facade would drop. He sighed, heart thrumming against his chest and resonating, blaring in his ears.

Alexander beside him found a much more comfortable position on his opposite hip, his ease gave Aaron a sense of falsehood. Alexander wasn't asleep, he was listening to him fall apart slowly and surely. His breath grew heavier and louder along with each tick of the clock hung on the other side of the room.

A sensation of pins and needles snaked up Aaron’s arms, hands as desperate to scratch as ever. He rubbed his arms to push the feeling off. Rubbing turned to scratching and scratching turned violent quickly. Tears pooled at the corner of his eyes, his body shaking with the force of his labored breathing.

His partner next to him stirred to life, and instinctively Aaron went as stiff as a board, eyes shut tight and breath held in his lungs.

“Burr?” Alexander whispered, eyes fluttering with exhaustion. “Are you okay?”

Aaron’s nerves kept strung tight, unable to move, all he could do was cry. Alexander propped himself on his elbows, soft hand making gentle contact with dark skin.

  
Flinching, Aaron grimaced as if he'd been struck. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he begged, words spewing forth in quick succession. An achingly familiar feeling danced on his arms, tears pouring down his face and eyes glued together desperately. “No, no, please, no, please,”

Along with the pounding of his heart, Aaron heard a click and saw lights from behind closed eyelids. Soon enough, Alexander had his hands back on him, stroking softly, whispering, “It's okay, it's okay,” to counter Aaron's incantations of fear and paralysis.

Eventually, his muscles loosened, his breath evened out, and Alexander pulled him into a warm embrace.

“I'm sorry,” he cried, shaking hands steadying.

“It's ok,” Alexander pressed a tender kiss to his forehead, his thumb tracing circles on the back of his partner’s neck. “What happened?”

Aaron shook his head, and he didn't push any further, just nodded his understanding and returned to his loving caress.

The two laid against each other, legs entwined and eyes growing heavy again.

Finally, after hours of buildup and a painful crescendo, Alexander's comforting grip on his waist kept his thoughts at bay. Although it never worked long-term, he got some kind of relief from his ostensible neverending torment.

Moments passed, and Aaron was teasing sleep, alternating in and out of consciousness. It wasn't until Alexander spoke that he sprung forward, eyes peeled back and chest aching.

“Have you been taking your medicine, Burr?” Silence could be loud, given the right circumstance. Aaron shifted uncomfortably, heart back to hammering in his chest. Alexander repeated firmly, “Aaron, did you take your medicine?”

“No,” he mumbled, tucking into Alexander's chest in shame. Alexander didn't bring out his first name in normal context; he felt comparable to a scolded child.

Alexander nodded slowly, biting back frustration. “Ok, in the morning you're going to take them, right?”

Aaron bobbed his head, eyes shutting once again. “Tired,” his voice small, Alexander found himself filled with love and the irrevocable urge to protect.

“Hey,” he whispered, smiling softly when Aaron's gaze met his own. Gingerly, tentatively, Alexander offered a kiss to his lips, tongue grazing his bottom lip before trailing down his jaw. “I love you, Aaron.”

“Hm,” he softened, melting into the warm affections. “Thank you.”

He always rested easy with Alexander in his bed.


End file.
